Alagarus (And Also My Rant On Daemons)

For your information, Isaac, the reason I don't happen to use my Choir powers to listen in on other people is because I happen to believe in common courtesy and dignity and dammit I can get enough information reading your blog posts that it doesn't matter how I get the information and--

You were otherwise disposed?

I was listening for the people who were tailing us, thank you very much, my ears were otherwise pointed. But so. Daemon Lords. Fun-ness. I could tell it was a Daemon from the get-go, just by the symbols it was splattering around in blood reds and bile greens and eye jelly purples like an extradimensional Bob Ross or somet-

okay I threw up. Hard. I almost forgot how disgusting and bloody the killing was, but good old sarcastic fucking me had to go and be sassy and remind myself of the massacre like that.

So. Alagarus. Daemon Lord of Celebration. Now, I don't know much about the Daemon Lords. I know there's ten of them. I know one's name is Azail and he enables people. And there are nine more where he came from. They come from and are some of the natives a Fear-less domain that had some old name once upon a time but now is known as Bloody Hell, because, once again, the red haired dick decided to redecorate the place.

You know, if you call The Biker a dick one too many times and he begins to take notice and we end up with two adversaries instead of one, I'm going to blame you.

And the problem with dealing with two adversaries being...?

Nothing, really. Aside from the fact that we already have to prevent a series of perverse massacres by a creature that has a skewed idea of "fun".

Isaac, how do you even do the finger thing with your thoughts?

You mean... finger quotes?

Yes. That. The finger thing.

...O'Zalia stopped responding to me. I believe my replies are starting to give him conniptions.

But essentially, this one takes fun to a whole new level. We don't know exactly what it does, or what powers it holds other than ripping people apart and being good at visceral arts and crafts-

I threw up again. What I was trying to say was, we still don't know its full power scope. We know it represents something. We know that the Daemon Lords represent things that it incites in people, and it can use it on people to a limited extent- or, at least that's what I've heard, anyways. I dunno, my facts may be skewed. But if I see people with wide Joker grins and skin balloons and bloody orgies in the street, then I will assume that our unfriendly neighborhood hellspawn would be involved. However, the ultimate point is that Daemons are supposed to be in Bloody Hell. That's where Daemons are supposed to be, and for some reason right now they're not cool with their Domain anymore. So they're beginning to move in. I know of at least two Daemon Lords who've entered this world, and there are another eight that are probably out there somewhere, instead of sticking around in their home domain, because that would be too easy, and no, the Illusionist Club can't just have a nice relaxing day off, now, can we?

What- Illusio- what are-... you really do give me conniptions. 

Aww, gee. Love you too. But the point is, we've found something much more pressing than Fears or Demi-Gods or Half-Fears or Emissaries or whatever other entities are just lounging around on earth right now. Because Daemons have no chill. They have no chill and they're killing people by the dozens. They're killing children. They're treating humanity with such disdain and disregard that they're thinking they can go around squashing us flat as much as they please and not care about the repercussions of their actions. They don't have the sophistication of Fears. They don't have the motivations of Demi-Gods. They don't have the destructive artistry of any other being in existence. They're just semi-powerful beings with the mentality of toddlers. And we're toys to them, toys that they can break. Fears at least have some level of coherence to them, some level of subtlety to their work, but Daemons just break and break and incite war and incite negative toxic human behaviors in people and then break and slaughter and break again because goddammit they haven't broken enough. They can flaunt all the power and all the memetic effects and incite as many negative emotions as they damn well please, but in the end compared to anything else even remotely on or above their level they are nothing, and they're just throwing a last-ditch hissy fit to prove it.

Well, I don't know if this is a good time for a Toy Story reference, but someone's gotta be the snake in their boot. Likely many someones will have to do it. And if we can take care of this Revelry Daemon, then we're one step closer to wiping out this immediate problem. And then we'll move on to bigger and better things. Like...

uhm...

shit. Forget about it.

It doesn't matter about what happens when this is all settled and done. We'll cross that road when we come to it. By that time we'll probably have met more things that want to kill us, uncovered another plot, met another of Isaac's likely numerous crazy relatives.

Not funny.

All right, all right. But right now, human beings, somewhere, anywhere across this world, are going to try to throw parties. Try to indulge in a little enjoyment to break the monotony of their lives, trying to take time to socialize or engage in some kind of activity or sit in the corner of a loud rave hall with a solo cup in one hand and a phone in the other. And this piece of shit is waiting somewhere, in the dark, with nothing but contempt for human life and his own twisted ideal of what we think "fun" may be. And anyone can die. We need to stop this thing now, while it has only one massacre that we know about. We may have been too late to stop it the first time, but we're not going to let it happen a second.